


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by TissyB



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Canon Related, F/M, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-08-31 18:14:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8588701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TissyB/pseuds/TissyB
Summary: What if William Reid wasn't Spencer's father, David Rossi was?





	1. Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first fanfiction in a really long time but I've had this idea bouncing round my head for ages! I must apologise for any grammar errors, I'm rubbish at grammar so if anyone would like to offer to proof read future chapters let me know!! 
> 
> This will eventually be a Hotch/Reid fanfiction but not for a while. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, all comments are appreciated :) x

Spencer Reid always felt distant from his father. His mother was his best friend from as soon as he knew what having a best friend meant. At school when the other children laughed with their best friends and ignored him because he was 'weird' he knew his best friend was at home. Diana read to him every day, kissed his forehead and held him tight when the children in the neighbourhood called him names. 

But William was completely different. Spencer never understood what he ever did to make his father not like him. He was 5 when he started to understand his mothers illness and after hearing that his mother refused to take any medication when she was pregnant with him, he wondered if that's why his dad didn't like him. Spencer would do anything he could to impress his dad, all he wanted was that look of approval and he never got it. He would see the other children run to their dads at the school gates, the look of love and the huge hugs they would receive. Spencer never got that. 

~~~~~~~~

When he was 8, Spencer finally realised why. He had his head in a book when he heard the smash of glass followed by his mothers scream. Spencer scuttled off his bed, the book clutched to his chest as he quietly ran to the top of the stairs. He looked through the banister, his heart beating so fast he thought it was going to come out of his chest.

"Can you not realise how special this little boy is?"

"Special?" William replied, Spencer could tell he has been drinking. He shuffled back a little to make sure he wasn't spotted, it was late and he should be asleep "He isn't special, Diana. You put him on this high pedestal, telling him he is going to be this special genius. Where will it get him Diane? So far a black eye and a broken nose." 

"So I shouldn't want the best for our Son?" She shouted. 

"He isn't my son remember?" William screamed in response. 

Spencer felt his heart stop, it was as if time stood still and all he could do was sit and wait it out. 

"You promised me that you would raise him as your own," Spencer could tell his mum was starting to cry, he felt his own tears starting to run down his face. 

"I've tried, but I can't. Ever time I look at him, I see him. Every time Spencer shows me that he's got 100% on a test I know that's because of him and you! It's definitely not from me,"

"William," Diane moans. 

"No I'm sorry but however much I try, we both try I will never be Spencer's dad. It will always be David Rossi," 

Spencer heard the front door slam a few seconds late and he clutched his book even tighter to his chest. 

David Rossi. David Rossi. David Rossi. 

Spencer had seen him on TV. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears and willing his brain to tell him everything he knew about him, but it was if his brain had suddenly stopped working. It just wouldn't tell him anything. 

But when he heard the shuffling of his mums slippers, Spencer stood up running back to his room and jumping into his bed. He threw his cover over his head, pretending to be asleep. Spencer heard his mum stop at his doorway before carrying on down the hallway.

Spencer Reid cried himself to sleep that night. 

~~~~~~~

The next day everything was as it always had been, the argument forgotten and for a while Spencer tried to convince himself it was only a dream. But when his dad looked at him with a scowl as he dropped the collection of Sherlock Holmes on the floor, he knew it hadn't been a dream. 

~~~~~~~

Spencer never acknowledged what he had heard to his parents but he did start compiling any information he could find about his supposed father David Rossi. He didn't have much but what he had managed to get was his address. Sometimes it helps to be a geek.

He kept thinking about writing, but he never knew what to write. But Spencer knew that it would be even worse if he somehow managed to be in front of the man. Something Spencer still hasn't managed to work out was how to get his mouth to stop working even his when his brain was still going. 

It was a few days after his 10th birthday when his father came downstairs with a suitcase. Spencer looked up from his essay with the thump of the suitcase hitting the floor. 

"Dad?" Spencer looked at his father, then to the suitcase and back to his father. 

"I'm going away," William muttered.

"What?" Spencer stood up and stared at his father. 

"I'm sorry Spence, but I can't do this anymore I've tried." 

Spencer bit his bottom lip, his eyes welling up with tears. "But Dad, you promised."

Spencer saw Williams eyes widen with recognition with what his son had said, his mouth opened to say something but then slammed shut with a click. Spencer watched the man he had always tried to impress look down at his feet and then taking the suitcase in his hand, William Reid looked at Spencer for the last time. 

"Sometimes Spencer, promises can't be kept." And with that William Reid left. 

That day Spencer's first letter to David Rossi went in the post. It wasn't until after his high school graduation at the age of 12 he got his reply. 

 

 

\- [ ]


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first letter from Rossi arrives

_Spencer,_

_Congratulations for finishing high school. What are your plans now? I apologise for not replying to your letter but everything I ever wrote never seemed enough. Firstly, I want to say I'm sorry about William. I don't know if I could have brought up another mans child but I hoped he could have._

_How's your mother? She was a beautiful, charming woman when I met her and I'm sure that hasn't changed even with with her condition. Yes, I've looked into you. A perk and problem of the job. I always have a suspicious mind and I have the facilities to look into such suspicions. I'm presenting myself as such an arrogant idiot aren't I? Anyway, hopefully you can understand why I've looked into you but what I really wanted to say is I hope you know where I am if you need me. For anything. Money, a reference or even someone to listen to. I've started writing a book on hostage situations, let's hope I'm a little more eloquent in writing that. If you would like a copy when it's finished, let me know._

_Good luck with your future endeavours._

_Dave Rossi._

Spencer stared at the letter in his shaking hands. He couldn't quite believe that David Rossi had written to him, one of the founders of the BAU. It had been over two years since he had sent his letter and when he hadn't received a reply, Spencer believed he never would. He couldn't help but keep up with anything the man did, David was always on the news after his latest case and Spencer always tried to watch every news report without his mother becoming suspicious. 

His mothers condition was slowly deteriorating, but Diana Reid was a stubborn woman not accepting help when it was offered. Spencer was worried about going to college and having to leave her all day but his mum was very insistent that he went to Caltech, knowing it's science and math programme was the best. 

Spencer stared at the letter and decided to wait till after dinner before writing back or maybe even tomorrow. He wanted to do it now, and get it sent today, but he didn't want to come across as too eager something his teachers always criticised him for. Spencer ran his hands through his hair and then shuffled his glasses. Standing up, he hid the letter under his bed and with one last glance left his room. 

It was two in the morning and Spencer had enough of staring at his ceiling. Quietly slipping out of bed, Spencer sat at his desk. He got out his paper, his very best pen and started.

_Mr Rossi,_

_Thank you for your letter and your well wishes. I now plan to go to Caltech and complete my first doctorate in math. It is an hour each way on my bike but it will be worth it. My mother is well thank you. The sound of your book intrigues me, a copy would be brilliant. Were you aware that 63% of hostage situations don't go as planned and alternative methods need to be used? What have you found works best? According to a journal I was reading meeting the UnSubs requests only buys time but doesn't actually persuade them to trust you. I'm hoping to complete a psychology and sociology doctorate so tell me anything you can. Please._

_I must go to bed as it's nearly half past two in the morning. Not that you needed to know that. I'm always telling people information. They tell me it's useless but to me no information is useless, everything is meant to be learnt._

_Good night._

_Spencer Reid_

Spencer didn't know how to end his letter but it seemed appropriate, and very Spencerish as his teacher would say. He carefully copied out David's address on an envelope before hiding it in his top draw. Knowing his mind would now rest he slid into bed and closed his eyes. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took two weeks for the next letter to arrive on the doorstep. After hiding it in his room and eagerly waiting for his mother to go for her afternoon nap, Spencer was able to read the letter. 

_Spencer,_

_Are you not a bit young to be reading about hostage situations? I really don't feel comfortable discussing hostage situations with a twelve year regardless of what your IQ may be. I will tell you things when your older. I've just realised I'm being hypocritical, I said I would send you my book. I might wait till your at least 15 before sending it to you, it will help me keep a clear conscious in case you decide to take anyone hostage. But about that fact, I didn't know that. I may have to borrow that for my book._

_I agree that information is valuable. In my job knowing all you can about the victim and the crime means we can find the UnSub quicker. It's how we build profiles, sometimes the smallest piece of information is the final part of the puzzle. Some information, yes is meaningless but what is meaningless to one person is valuable to another._

_I hope all your aspirations come true. I cannot wait to hear all about your adventures at Caltech._

_One last point, you can write and tell me anything. No censors, just write._

_Speak soon,_

_Dave._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the years go by, Spencer and Rossi are in each others lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone likes this chapter! I know it's a slow builder but I just want to put some ground work down and cover Spencer's life. Please let me know what you think.

_Mr Rossi,_

_You do realise that books don't have an age restriction on? When your book is released I can quite simply go and buy it._

 

The letters went back and forth over the years. The tales of Caltech and the BAU being written about in secret, with smiles and growing admiration for one another. Spencer loved receiving the letters as he knew that he could be himself in his letters. There had only ever been his mother he could truly be Spencer Reid with, without being ridiculed or stared at. But now he has Dave. Dave seemed to listen to his rambling and always responded with his dry wit and arrogance. Spencer could tell that he was a man who didn't talk about his emotions but he could tell how proud Dave was of him, and that was incredible feeling. It gave him such a warm feeling in his heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer and Dave never mentioned about meeting or even corresponding in any other way, but when Dave said he was doing a lecture at Caltech, Spencer couldn't resist going. He had to beg and call in big favour from a professor to get a ticket. A lecture from one of the BAU's founders was popular. 

He sat at the back of the lecture theatre watching his father, Spencer felt his breathe get taken away when he realised that's what he had just called him in his head. He had always acknowledged Dave as a friend, maybe even family. But calling him father seemed permanent. Something that could be lost. Spencer tried not to think about the dangerous situations Dave put himself in when he told him about them but seeing the images on the screen made them very real. But at the same time watching the enthusiasm his dad had for his job, the constant puzzles they solved and all the people he could help made him want to join the BAU. People always assumed he would want to work in a science lab or teaching people but the truth was Spencer had no idea what he wanted to be. But watching Dave he realised he could help people on a daily basis, his mum always told him he had been given his intelligence for a reason. Spencer couldn't help but think his was why. 

Spencer shook his head and tried to focus back on the lecture. When the lecture finished Spencer shuffled out, with a glance over his shoulder knowing that one day he would have to say hello but at the moment meeting him meant he would have someone else to loose. Spencer had already lost William, he was slowly loosing Diana to her own mind and the thought of loosing Dave already made his stomach clench. Spencer wasn't willing to take that risk yet. Not yet anyway. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

_I saw you at the back of the theatre, I might be getting old but my eyesight isn't that bad. We will meet one day Spencer, when it's right for both of us._

~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer finished his undergraduate at the age of 16 and completed his doctorate at 17. When it came to graduation day, he stood shaking the hand of a local entrepreneur. When he looked out into the crowds he knew he wasn't going to see his mum as she was at home in the middle of episode. But there stood David Rossi, his dad. Clapping louder than everyone else with the biggest grin Spencer has even seen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer transferred to Yale University so he could complete two doctorates in chemistry and engineering. He also wanted to complete two bachelors in psychology and sociology. Dave said he was mad, Spencer said he was dedicated there was a difference. 

Diana was becoming worse and Spencer was struggling to cope. He hated to admit even to himself that he couldn't cope with his own mother but 80% of the time she didn't know who he was, which meant giving her food and medication was difficult. The other issue was Spencer had to know that when he was at university she could look after self. But she couldn't. He tried leaving food and notes around their home hoping it would remind her, but some days when he comes home the food hadn't been touched. After a lot of thinking and calculation Spencer knew he had only one option. He had to admit her to an institution. Spencer knew he couldn't do anything till he was 18 which gave him plenty of time to be able to research, but what it did make him realise is that they didn't have enough money. He deliberated asked Dave to help until he could get a job and pay him back but he couldn't. He hadn't even met him so he definitely couldn't ask him for money. 

On the day he turned 18, Spencer put his home up for sale and filed for committing his best friend to Bennington Sanitarium. His few friends at Yale wanted to take him out for their birthday, but he couldn't. He wanted to stay at home with his mum while he could. Diana remembered his birthday, which made the decision even harder to face. 

"Oh. Spence," his mother said as she took the food out of the oven. "A package came for you earlier, it's on your bed." 

Spencer stood still with shock, before shooting up the stairs. He knew who it would be from. It was a medium size cardboard box and he opened it carefully. 

_Spencer._

_Happy birthday. Enjoy._

_Dave._

Spencer felt himself gasp as he carefully picked up the book. A 1st Edition of The Collector by John Fowles. It was a book his mum had read to him and he had mentioned it to Dave. It was one of his favourites. But now Spencer thinks it's might be his favourite book. Hugging the book to his chest, he rested his head on the top before placing it carefully on his bedside table. 

Spencer had a great evening with his mum, it was like the old times. They laughed and talked like they hadn't done in a very long time. Spencer couldn't help but think it wasn't a perfect evening but all of a sudden his mum changed. She thought he was a student who had dropped her off after a lecture. Spencer tried his best not to let if effect him but he couldn't help it. Once he had managed to get his mum to bed, he lay on his bed, clutching his new book to his chest as he cried himself to sleep. 

The next day was a fresh day and Spencer's first task was to write a note to Dave. He found this note difficult to write, he wanted to tell Dave everything that was going on but he just couldn't say or write it. It would make it real. Spencer wanted to bury his head for a little bit longer. 

_Thank you for the book Dave. It's wonderful._

The next few weeks were hard, he didn't hear from Dave which he was thankful for. He didn't want the distraction. His studies kept him occupied when he needed to be. It looked like they had a buyer already for the house and Bennington had said they would take his mother as soon as he wanted them to. Things were progressing quicker than he thought it would but he kept telling himself the sooner his mum was in the Sanitarium it would be better for both of them. 

The day soon came. Spencer knew he couldn't wait any longer he was just delaying the inevitable. When he heard the knock on the door, he stood slowly letting the two people in with a slight nod. Holding his emotions back he led them into his mums office. 

She looked up from her desk, "Spencer? Who are these people?" 

With his hands in his pocket and ducking his head with a deep breath. "They're here to help." 

"We don't need help Spencer." She said shaking her head. 

"We do mom, we do." They went over and gently took Diana under the arms. 

"Spencer please. Please don't do this, we can do this." 

"I'm sorry Mom, I'm so sorry." 

He watched as the two men gently led his mother out of the property. When he heard the click of the front door, he let out a sob. Spencer covered his mouth as he continued to cry. Sitting down in his mums chair and resting his head on his arms all Spencer could think about was if he had done the right thing. 

 

_Dave,_

_Bennington Sanitarium have just been to pick my mother up. Does it make me a failure that I can't look after her? Does it make me selfish that I want to continue my studies instead of being at home with her?_

_I'll be moving to Yale in the next few weeks, I will forward you my new address._

_Spencer._

He stared at the letter, it was blunt and to the point but he didn't have the energy to babble. Standing up and wiping his hands on his pants, Spencer looked around his child home and with a sign decided he better start packing.


End file.
